Its been over 5 years since I've posted anything. Probably because Instagram became really popular. 5 years ago Brent was set apart as the Bishop of our Ward. 6 months after my Mom died of cancer and just over a year into Jaren's mission to Samoa. The photo below is of 10 years ago. Brent was the 1st counselor in the Bishopric and the Payson Temple was just in its beginnings. Look how tiny my sweet kids were. The photo just below reveals what they look like the week before Brent was released as Bishop. I appreciate that my kids gathered together to make the photo possible. 5 of my 6 kids have or are currently serving missions. Jaren served in Samoa. Hannah served in Scotland/Ireland. Annika served in Indianapolis Indiana. Isabel served in Micronesia Guam. And Beckham leaves for Fort Lauderdale Florida speaking Haitian tomorrow. I worked really hard while they were growing up to teach them about Jesus and how to worship him. We read scriptures, had FHE, said family prayer, fulfilled our callings, served our neighbors and found joy doing it all. It wasn't always fun. It was hard being on the bench by myself for 10 years. It was hard having my husbands mind occupied with work and then with Ward stuff. It felt like I was a single mother for a really long time. I knew I wasn't. As time went on Brent became more and more involved, as much as he could. I don't fault him for anything. I chose to support him so he in turn could help more people. The outpouring of love from members was affirming to me that he did in deed lead with love. Just this evening someone told me that Brent was their favorite Bishop and they cried when he was released. But none of that is guarantee that our kids will choose to still believe the way we do. Despite all our efforts and them going on missions a few have chosen different paths. At first I was devastated. But as I sat and listened to them I chose to have more compassion then anything else. Would I rather all my children be active. Absolutely. Do I wish we could change the language inside the church and stop saying they are "Lost", YES. They aren't lost to me and they definitely aren't lost to God. Every single one of my kids are good good humans. I am proud of their accomplishments and the kind, generous people they are. This experience, like my mother's passing, has granted me opportunities for learning and growth. Helped me to change my question from "What is wrong with them?" to "What happened to them?" . And learning to find the balance of still living what I believe and building loving, lasting relationships with all of my children. I wont ever stop being their Mom. I wont ever stop loving Jesus. And somehow, we are making it work. I love all my children. I love it when they come over. I love watching them make efforts to be with each other. And now that Brent is done being Bishop I'm excited to how he uses that extra real estate inside his head. He seems to be adjusting well. Brent has a mind of steel. Like complete control over his thoughts which is actually very impressive. I had a harder time of things the week leading up to his releasing. I wasn't prepared for the emotions that came and sat with me for a short bit. Having Brent serve was a wonderful experience for our family. I don't regret anything.
