From small to little

I was looking at some old, old blog posts and came upon this one:

This morning I laid in bed nursing Grace. When she was finished she turned over and started cooing to the air. I realized that the past few days Grace has been more vocal. Cooing to who ever will listen to her. As I sat and listened to her melodic voice a thought crept into my mind, "this baby will lose and find her voice several time throughout her life." She will lose it in the loudness of 6 children, and hopefully find it again in a quiet conversation with Mom or Dad. She will lose her voice in High School to friends filling it with wild and crazy voices. Then find it again when she makes a stand for something she believes in, something that her Dad and I taught her. I will lose her voice when she goes off to college and find it again only once in a while when she calls or visits. She most likely will lose it when she is married. Lost in the world of wifehood and motherhood. Hopefully finding her voice once again with the help of friends and the gospel. It wont be the same voice. It will be strong with experience, knowledge and love. Like all things lost and found again, she will cherish her new voice and work to keep it strong and changing.

Grace was 5 months old when I wrote this.  She hasn't had a hard time at all finding her voice among 6 children.  Grace is loud, boisterous, and will share her opinion with anyone who is listening.  Quite often I will hear her actually screaming at one of her siblings, letting them know she is unhappy with her circumstance.  Grace is very articulate.  She knows what she wants,  when she wants it, and you know exactly what it is.  In the quite moments we have during the day together, she will crawl onto my lap and tell me she loves me.  Often she'll wrap her little arm and hand around my neck in an effort to get closer.

Next year Grace will begin pre-school.  I am trying desperately not to push her out the door.  I am trying to slow things down a bit and enjoy my time with my sweet baby girl.  It's hard. When my children were small the days just seemed to drag on for ever.  Now, I wonder where all the time has gone.  I'm trying to remember how gentle and small her hands feel in mine when walk from the car into the grocery store.  I'm trying to hold her when she asks me too.  All too soon those requests will die away.  The small and simple things really do matter most.