Hide your kids, hide your wives, hide your dogs!

In January Jaren passed the test to get his learner's permit.  Before that I started taking him to the church parking lot to practice driving.  Pushing the gas to go, hitting the break to stop, getting a feel for how the car turned, all that sort of thing.  None of that prepared me for the sheer terror that comes from actually sitting next to your teenage child as they begin to drive on the real roads.  In most situations, I have far more patience with our children then Brent.  I can usually stay calm, say the right things(or at least try to), and give direction.  Most of the time.  When it comes to teaching my child how to drive all of that went out the window, Fear took over.  For some reason, there is a terrible communication break down.  I assumed he automatically knows how to break at a stop sign, how to stay in the middle of his lane, how to turn left, stay up to speed.  Ya, right.  I ended up bracing against the window, warning against parked cars, raising my voice to get him to break more slowly at the stop sign.  All the while getting a bit of whip lash as he struggles to gage the distance  at said stop sign correctly and not get it right and breaking to hard.  After summing up enough courage, I let Jaren drive several miles home from the store.  Good night, what was I thinking.  He did fairly well until he had to stop and make a left turn.  For some reason he veered the car to the right, blocking anyone from passing on the right side and not stopping in quite the right spot.  I should have kissed the ground when we pulled into the drive way.  A few weeks later I let him drive home from Walmart which is twice as far from home.  He came to a right turn, it was clear.  All of the sudden he breaks hard, then goes.  He was confused, he thought he had to stop, but didn't then went on his way.  He looked at me and said, "That was wrong wasn't it?"  I told him yeah, but he figured it out. 

I'm sure one day he will be a great driver.  More then likely it will have to be his Dad that will need to teach him.  Brent took him out driving and Jaren told me it was way better cuz, "Dad wasn't screaming in my ear."  I readily admit that I experience almost immediate anxiety when I am in the passenger seat.  Most times I get a tension headache.  Even when driving the short distance from the church to our home. 

Teaching my son to drive is not one of my favorite things to do.  As I have been thinking about this part of parenthood it dawned on me that we have come full circle.  I remember the first time I strapped my teeny tiny baby into the car and drove him the short distance to the store.  I had the strangest feeling as we drove together.  This little infant's life was in my hands.  I was more aware then ever that I had some one else to care for other then myself.  His life was completely in my hands. All of the sudden I felt very vulnerable. 

Now, he is behind the wheel, and I am the passenger.  I still feel vulnerable, more then ever.  My life is in his hands.  And that scares the hell out of me. 

When all is said and done, I am confident that Jaren will be a great driver.  He just needs more time behind the wheel.  Practice makes perfect.