Sheer Terror

Early yesterday evening I was finally getting my feet out of the super suction grip of that darn mud. I shook off the excess and was being goofy and silly while attempting to make s'more treats and dinner. I had three pots going at once and was in a really great mood. Through all the noise that I was making I heard a tiny voice say, "look, Mom". Just at that moment out of the corner of my eye I see my infant baby on the kitchen tile floor, face down and an arm stuck under the weight of her body. I scream and run to scoop her up into my arms. Over and over out loud I proclaim, " Oh my gosh, oh my gosh." Grace had been sitting in her chair that hooks to the table just playing with her toys. When Beckham thought it would be funny to stand underneath that chair and push up on Grace with his head. Well, she shot right out of that thing and landed directly on her head.
Sheer terror and panic overtook my body. First I tried calling Brent, went straight to voicemail. Then I tried calling Susan, a friend in the neighborhood that is a nurse in the NICU at Utah Valley. Again, straight to voicemail. Next I try calling Melissa, she thankfully answers. I explain to her what has happened as tears well up and I'm not sure what to do. Melissa tells me that she sees Susan outside with her kids and will go talk to her. Susan calls and decides to come over. This whole time I am trying to keep my baby from going to sleep. All she wants to do is go to sleep. I have this fear that if she does she will never wake up again.
To make a long torturous story short. Susan looks Grace over, I call after hours service and Brent gives Grace a blessing. I am given a short list of things to look for. Luckily she only threw up once. After sleeping on my chest for about 45 minutes she seemed to be fine. This didn't stop me from waking up every 2 hrs last night to check on her. Of course I wasn't able to go back to sleep in between due to my mind going over and over a myriad of situations.
During all this trauma Beckham was sent to his room. While waiting for the neighbor to come help give Grace the blessing Beckham with a a quivering lip and swollen red eyes asks, "Mom, do you still love me?" " Of course I do." I reply back. It was just a really scary situation with an unknown outcome. I'm still unaware if Grace has been permanently damaged by her fall. Logic tells me she will be fine. Guilt tells me other things.